For some reason, yesterday was tough. Well, I know why it was ... it was because I got out of my routine, such as it is.
First of all, let me say this about breakfast. I have read every single diet book and piece of advice from the diet gurus and every one of them says the same thing: Don't skip breakfast--people who skip breakfast snack more later. And for those experts, I have to say, that just doesn't work for me.
If I eat breakfast, I'll nosh all day. For some reason, it just gets me on a roll, and then I eat all day. My worst time of the day is afternoon, around 4 or so. That's the point of my day when I would cheerfully eat a Michelin tire if someone put it in front of me, and if it could have chocolate dripped over it, even better.
So, if I eat breakfast, I'm going to eat in the afternoon and if I don't, I'm going to eat in the afternoon. Plus, if I eat breakfast, I want to go right back to bed. So, I've devised my plan around this, and yes, I know it's not supposed to be MY plan, it's supposed to be done the WW way, but give me a break. So, breakfast is usually coffee with non-fat creamer, then maybe a glass of Tropicana Light & Healthy later in the morning.
This holds me to somewhere between 12:30 and 2, when I can have lunch, then a reasonable dinner, with enough points left in the middle for yogurt or cottage cheese or a banana in the afternoon. Finally, a WW chocolate mousse bar or ice cream sandwich in the evening and I'm golden.
But get me out of my routine, and all bets are off.
I was meeting Whit yesterday and for some reason, in the getting ready, searching for a pattern Id lost, running around, it was 2 when I left and I hadn't had anything except my juice and coffee. Hungry, very hungry, about to make a bad decision.
Stopped at a McDonald's only to learn that it was a mini-McD's with no salads. Back on the highway, stop at a Wendy's. Baked potato with broccoli and cheese. Okay, not the best but better than the #1 with cheese and fries. 9 points instead of God-knows-how-many.
Then, meet Whit and she wants to go to dinner -- 4 pm! Okay, it was 4:30 by the time we got to Steak and Shake! What the hell? Is there anything to eat at a Steak and Shake? Well, it turns out there's an apple walnut salad with non-fat raspberry dressing. Okay, that will do.
Off to a gathering (knitting, followed by a book signing--whoops, let's not forget losing my wallet and retrieving it in the middle of all that--stress, anxiety aplenty).
Home at 10 pm, starving. Was I really starving or just crazed? Not sure. Result: a serving of chili--left off the cheese--and a banana.
I was right up against my points. Satisfied (by midnight) but feeling very out of sorts.
I need my routine.
And, no exercise.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Thursday, January 10, 2008
A New Twist on an Old Theme
Since I'm not doing anything with this blog, I thought this would be a good place to do my Weight Watchers journaling.
Yes, you heard correctly. That was not a misprint...I'm in my second week of Weight Watchers, for the hundredth time in my life. And one of the things I heard yesterday at the meeting (yes, I went to one...actually two!) was that journaling sometimes helps.
So here we go.
I've been an off-and-on (mostly off) member of WW since Jean Nidetch's time. I said that to someone yesterday and she looked at me like I'd just spoken in Swahili. But, for the oldtimers, JN was the founder of WW and she lived in Bethesda, MD about the time I lived there. That was 40 years ago...amazing.
Over the years, there are a few things that always spell "not working" for me about WW and I'm trying to work my way around them because the bottom line is this: Every time I've quit WW, I've gained weight. It's clearly not WW, it's me. But here are my issues:
(1) Leaders. They're always so damned perky! I particularly disliked the man who did WW at Work this year. He looked like Skeletor and talked about how he and his wife had lost weight together. He had obviously gone way too far and, besides his looks, I really couldn't stand him. I also hated doing the whole "bare your soul" thing at work. Anyway, I've never met one I liked, until Jan 2 of this year in Hiram. I like Linda. For one thing, she's a knitter, and that counts for a lot. Second, she seems relatively down to earth. I won't hold it against her that she's blonde and slim. She did say she had done her whole time in WW (45 pounds) knitting socks.
(2) Paying for a week when you're not there. This always pisses me off--I hate to pay $12 or $20 for something I didn't get but that's part of the incentive to go every week. But let's face it--sometimes you can't. You're traveling or something else gets in the way. This has been rectified by the monthly pass--you pay for the month and you can go as many times (or as few) as you want. It's all one cost.
(3) The online service. I actually tried doing it exclusively online once and that doesn't work for me, but it's always frosted me to pay for a meeting and not have access to the online stuff. Now that's all included in the monthly pass.
(4) The other members. The first time I went to Hiram, I hated all those people. But yesterday, I found myself chatting with a couple of them and they were very pleasant. Maybe it's my change of attitude--who knows?
(5) The exercise. Well, WW calls it "moving." I still hate this part, but obviously I better get my head around it. The Menopause Metabolism has slowed to the point that the E-word is going to be required.
(6) Counting the points. I have struggled with carrying around that little piece of paper, trying to figure out how many points something has, not having a record. Well, if you keep track online, there's a huge database resource. For instance, you're going to eat at Panera Bread later at dinner--you can check it out online to see what you can eat (half a sandwich and fat-free soup is a good choice for something like 5 points). Or you can look it up when you get home. And since I'm computer-oriented, this works for me.
So, here's the update.
First week was not as hard as I thought it would be. On the other hand, I only lost 2.2 pounds. On the other hand, I didn't gain anything, didn't eat fast food, and at least the poundage is going in the right direction. I didn't have a perfect week by any means but I didn't go over my weekly points (daily plus optional) even though I had one day that really sucked!
Peanuts--cannot have them in the house!
This week I'll be home until Sunday and then we go on the road for three days, then arrive at Deirdre's about time to weigh again. Don't know if I'll be able to do that in Sedona. We'll see. In any case, I think if I do some pre-trip homework I should be able to come up with some on-the-road alternatives (maybe carry my own salad dressing for when we stop at McDonald's or Wendy's).
Finally, yesterday, Linda talked about geese, and how they travel in formation, with one leading and the others following, honking encouragement. When the leader tires, s/he drops back and one of the others takes up the lead. When one drops out of the pattern because of illness or injury, one or two of the others stay with him until he can get back on track. The idea is that WW is similar. This is, of course, the same principle that AA operates on, and it's a model I'm familiar with. It's also similar to my friends in the knitting community.
Bottom line, it made sense to me. I'm going to try to keep it in mind as I try again with WW.
My goal, 10% by Caitlin's wedding (March 29). This may be unrealistic, given the 2.2 pounds in the first week, which should be the best because of water weight loss, but maybe exercise will help. I actually visited a workout facility yesterday and will probably join after I get back from Sedona. Just didn't want to start paying when I wasn't going to be here to do it.
Enough for today.
Yes, you heard correctly. That was not a misprint...I'm in my second week of Weight Watchers, for the hundredth time in my life. And one of the things I heard yesterday at the meeting (yes, I went to one...actually two!) was that journaling sometimes helps.
So here we go.
I've been an off-and-on (mostly off) member of WW since Jean Nidetch's time. I said that to someone yesterday and she looked at me like I'd just spoken in Swahili. But, for the oldtimers, JN was the founder of WW and she lived in Bethesda, MD about the time I lived there. That was 40 years ago...amazing.
Over the years, there are a few things that always spell "not working" for me about WW and I'm trying to work my way around them because the bottom line is this: Every time I've quit WW, I've gained weight. It's clearly not WW, it's me. But here are my issues:
(1) Leaders. They're always so damned perky! I particularly disliked the man who did WW at Work this year. He looked like Skeletor and talked about how he and his wife had lost weight together. He had obviously gone way too far and, besides his looks, I really couldn't stand him. I also hated doing the whole "bare your soul" thing at work. Anyway, I've never met one I liked, until Jan 2 of this year in Hiram. I like Linda. For one thing, she's a knitter, and that counts for a lot. Second, she seems relatively down to earth. I won't hold it against her that she's blonde and slim. She did say she had done her whole time in WW (45 pounds) knitting socks.
(2) Paying for a week when you're not there. This always pisses me off--I hate to pay $12 or $20 for something I didn't get but that's part of the incentive to go every week. But let's face it--sometimes you can't. You're traveling or something else gets in the way. This has been rectified by the monthly pass--you pay for the month and you can go as many times (or as few) as you want. It's all one cost.
(3) The online service. I actually tried doing it exclusively online once and that doesn't work for me, but it's always frosted me to pay for a meeting and not have access to the online stuff. Now that's all included in the monthly pass.
(4) The other members. The first time I went to Hiram, I hated all those people. But yesterday, I found myself chatting with a couple of them and they were very pleasant. Maybe it's my change of attitude--who knows?
(5) The exercise. Well, WW calls it "moving." I still hate this part, but obviously I better get my head around it. The Menopause Metabolism has slowed to the point that the E-word is going to be required.
(6) Counting the points. I have struggled with carrying around that little piece of paper, trying to figure out how many points something has, not having a record. Well, if you keep track online, there's a huge database resource. For instance, you're going to eat at Panera Bread later at dinner--you can check it out online to see what you can eat (half a sandwich and fat-free soup is a good choice for something like 5 points). Or you can look it up when you get home. And since I'm computer-oriented, this works for me.
So, here's the update.
First week was not as hard as I thought it would be. On the other hand, I only lost 2.2 pounds. On the other hand, I didn't gain anything, didn't eat fast food, and at least the poundage is going in the right direction. I didn't have a perfect week by any means but I didn't go over my weekly points (daily plus optional) even though I had one day that really sucked!
Peanuts--cannot have them in the house!
This week I'll be home until Sunday and then we go on the road for three days, then arrive at Deirdre's about time to weigh again. Don't know if I'll be able to do that in Sedona. We'll see. In any case, I think if I do some pre-trip homework I should be able to come up with some on-the-road alternatives (maybe carry my own salad dressing for when we stop at McDonald's or Wendy's).
Finally, yesterday, Linda talked about geese, and how they travel in formation, with one leading and the others following, honking encouragement. When the leader tires, s/he drops back and one of the others takes up the lead. When one drops out of the pattern because of illness or injury, one or two of the others stay with him until he can get back on track. The idea is that WW is similar. This is, of course, the same principle that AA operates on, and it's a model I'm familiar with. It's also similar to my friends in the knitting community.
Bottom line, it made sense to me. I'm going to try to keep it in mind as I try again with WW.
My goal, 10% by Caitlin's wedding (March 29). This may be unrealistic, given the 2.2 pounds in the first week, which should be the best because of water weight loss, but maybe exercise will help. I actually visited a workout facility yesterday and will probably join after I get back from Sedona. Just didn't want to start paying when I wasn't going to be here to do it.
Enough for today.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
My Brain?
| Your Brain is Purple |
 Of all the brain types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself. |
Sunday, April 15, 2007
I Am Not a Republican - Not Much, That Is!
10% Republican. | "You're a tax-and-spend liberal democrat. People like you are the reason everyone else votes for guys like Reagan or George W." |
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Discernment? No, but ...
We all go through peaks and valleys. I'm in a valley now, at a low point. I don't think I'm bipolar, though it definitely runs in my family. But I'm usually either up or down, with little middle. A little middle would be good. These extremes wear me out.
Not that I'm depressed right now, or what I would consider depressed. No, depressed (in my world) means can't get out of bed, doesn't want to go on. That's not where I am. I'm out, but I'm not enjoying life. Maybe this is related to the fact that I'm changing my eating habits, and I don't have those trips to McDonald's to cheer me up. There's nothing like a Big Mac to take the edge off realizing your life is hopeless. Nope, I'm actually having to live with myself, which is the equivalent of being one of those animals that chews off its own tail.
The good news about these valley periods is that they usually coincide with some introspective thinking about my life. The bad news is that when I hit the peak again, I tend to be so "high" that I lose sight of the future--I'm so focused on being up, that's all I can think of.
What does this have to do with discernment? Probably nothing. Discernment is a process of determining whether one has a "calling" to the church. I wish I did...I would like to have a richer spiritual life, but I think I'm destined to be on the edge, not in the middle of the religious life. But I'm ready to "discern" what I want to do with the rest of my life.
I am wondering what the heck I'm going to do--hypothetically I've got 35-40 years, but realistically probably 25-30 years, maybe 25 years of time I can really expect to contribute something to society.
I spent the first two-third of my life (note that I'm planning for an age of at least 90!) in pretty self-indulgent ways. Even when I was raising my kids, and concentrating on them and my family, I was pretty self-directed. And by that I mean self to include me and mine--not the outside world.
Now I'd like to find a way to contribute something to someone. I don't want to get to the end wishing I'd done something meaninful with these few years we're given. And, while I can get all excited about the thought of devoting my life to some missionary life of charity, it's probably not too realistic. I have no savings, and will probably have to work for the rest of my life.
And, as much as I'd like to be that type of person, I'm not the type that's going to give up family, house, possessions to go live among the poor. That's a picture that I'd like to have of myself, but it's not a true picture. I'm fairly selfish, and, as I said, self-indulgent.
Still, I would like to find a way to make more of a contribution. And I'm not quite sure what that means. I'm praying hard right now to find what God wants from me.
I've always thought I would make a good teacher. I'd love to teach reading...to transmit to others the world that books open up. But I'm not trained to teach. I checked online last night--a Master's in education from Phoenix Online would cost me $26,000+. I just don't have it. Is there another way to teach reading without that master's degree?
Or ESL. Could I find a way to get a certificate that would enable me to help someone?
I'm going to check out Hands On Atlanta. Maybe there are some thoughts there.
Not that I'm depressed right now, or what I would consider depressed. No, depressed (in my world) means can't get out of bed, doesn't want to go on. That's not where I am. I'm out, but I'm not enjoying life. Maybe this is related to the fact that I'm changing my eating habits, and I don't have those trips to McDonald's to cheer me up. There's nothing like a Big Mac to take the edge off realizing your life is hopeless. Nope, I'm actually having to live with myself, which is the equivalent of being one of those animals that chews off its own tail.
The good news about these valley periods is that they usually coincide with some introspective thinking about my life. The bad news is that when I hit the peak again, I tend to be so "high" that I lose sight of the future--I'm so focused on being up, that's all I can think of.
What does this have to do with discernment? Probably nothing. Discernment is a process of determining whether one has a "calling" to the church. I wish I did...I would like to have a richer spiritual life, but I think I'm destined to be on the edge, not in the middle of the religious life. But I'm ready to "discern" what I want to do with the rest of my life.
I am wondering what the heck I'm going to do--hypothetically I've got 35-40 years, but realistically probably 25-30 years, maybe 25 years of time I can really expect to contribute something to society.
I spent the first two-third of my life (note that I'm planning for an age of at least 90!) in pretty self-indulgent ways. Even when I was raising my kids, and concentrating on them and my family, I was pretty self-directed. And by that I mean self to include me and mine--not the outside world.
Now I'd like to find a way to contribute something to someone. I don't want to get to the end wishing I'd done something meaninful with these few years we're given. And, while I can get all excited about the thought of devoting my life to some missionary life of charity, it's probably not too realistic. I have no savings, and will probably have to work for the rest of my life.
And, as much as I'd like to be that type of person, I'm not the type that's going to give up family, house, possessions to go live among the poor. That's a picture that I'd like to have of myself, but it's not a true picture. I'm fairly selfish, and, as I said, self-indulgent.
Still, I would like to find a way to make more of a contribution. And I'm not quite sure what that means. I'm praying hard right now to find what God wants from me.
I've always thought I would make a good teacher. I'd love to teach reading...to transmit to others the world that books open up. But I'm not trained to teach. I checked online last night--a Master's in education from Phoenix Online would cost me $26,000+. I just don't have it. Is there another way to teach reading without that master's degree?
Or ESL. Could I find a way to get a certificate that would enable me to help someone?
I'm going to check out Hands On Atlanta. Maybe there are some thoughts there.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Technology
We put together my old computer when I was doing real estate appraisals. That makes it at least 7 years ago, because that's when I changed jobs. So, probably 2 or 3 years before that. It was, at the time, top of the line, if not a "name brand." It had the then-enormous amount of 256 mb of memory--needed because of the graphics programs I was running for the appraisals. We owned a computer repair company at that point, and the foreign-born techs from our company who built it for me assured me that it was wayyyyyy overpowered, especially for a woman.
Fast forward to 2007. Neither of the two USB ports work, and really only one of them ever did. But who cared, back then? What in the world would "woman" do with more than one USB port? So, when the working port failed, no more printer. And it makes these odd noises. The semi-spouse believes that it has to do with overheating, but the fact is, it starts to make the noise, sort of like a repetitive ooh-a-ooh-a-ooh, almost immediately. At other times, it might go days before making the noise.
New computer needed. The semi-spouse, long away from the technology world, still thinks it's overpowered and I'm overreacting. I finally stopped talking to him about it, and just began plotting to get a new one. I decided on a notebook, with wireless capability, not because I think I'm going to be running around the country with it, but to give me some flexibility.
Well, I've had it almost a month, and this is the second time I've used it. Jake set it up for me, which was a big mistake because something doesn't work right and, since I didn't set it up myself, I don't know what it is. I think it's an incompatibility between the wireless router and the external modem supplied by my internet company, but I'm damned if I can figure it out.
And to top it all off, it's Windows VISTA, which probably means that none of my programs from my old computer will work anyway. Hmmm....another f'ing growth experience.
And it hasn't been a great month for technology. Let's take it in order:
(1) computer - 'nuff said
(2) new digital camera - maybe I'll figure it out eventually, but I haven't yet.
(3) my daughter gave me her Bluetooth device for my cellphone. I couldn't make them recognize each other, but one of the guys at work got it to work in about 2 minutes. What was I doing wrong? No clue
(4) forgot about the portable DVD that Jake gave me for Valentine's Day. I managed to play one DVD on it, but now I've got it hooked up to the auxiliary battery and can't unhook it.
(5) our TIVO died--Direct TV brought a new box and a new remote. I can't figure out how to record with the new remote. What's the point of a TIVO if you can't record?
(6) finally, we went to Virginia this weekend and I drove K's Suburban. Was baffled by both the air conditioning and the GPS, and never even attempted the DVD player or the satellite radio. What a waste!
At one point, I would have asked "is it the technology or is it me?" Now, I guess I know the answer.
Fast forward to 2007. Neither of the two USB ports work, and really only one of them ever did. But who cared, back then? What in the world would "woman" do with more than one USB port? So, when the working port failed, no more printer. And it makes these odd noises. The semi-spouse believes that it has to do with overheating, but the fact is, it starts to make the noise, sort of like a repetitive ooh-a-ooh-a-ooh, almost immediately. At other times, it might go days before making the noise.
New computer needed. The semi-spouse, long away from the technology world, still thinks it's overpowered and I'm overreacting. I finally stopped talking to him about it, and just began plotting to get a new one. I decided on a notebook, with wireless capability, not because I think I'm going to be running around the country with it, but to give me some flexibility.
Well, I've had it almost a month, and this is the second time I've used it. Jake set it up for me, which was a big mistake because something doesn't work right and, since I didn't set it up myself, I don't know what it is. I think it's an incompatibility between the wireless router and the external modem supplied by my internet company, but I'm damned if I can figure it out.
And to top it all off, it's Windows VISTA, which probably means that none of my programs from my old computer will work anyway. Hmmm....another f'ing growth experience.
And it hasn't been a great month for technology. Let's take it in order:
(1) computer - 'nuff said
(2) new digital camera - maybe I'll figure it out eventually, but I haven't yet.
(3) my daughter gave me her Bluetooth device for my cellphone. I couldn't make them recognize each other, but one of the guys at work got it to work in about 2 minutes. What was I doing wrong? No clue
(4) forgot about the portable DVD that Jake gave me for Valentine's Day. I managed to play one DVD on it, but now I've got it hooked up to the auxiliary battery and can't unhook it.
(5) our TIVO died--Direct TV brought a new box and a new remote. I can't figure out how to record with the new remote. What's the point of a TIVO if you can't record?
(6) finally, we went to Virginia this weekend and I drove K's Suburban. Was baffled by both the air conditioning and the GPS, and never even attempted the DVD player or the satellite radio. What a waste!
At one point, I would have asked "is it the technology or is it me?" Now, I guess I know the answer.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Life is Just a Bowl of Stress
What an incredibly stressful month this has been. Here at Chez Pug, we're working on some financial/housing changes that have been time-consuming but also stressful. When I was selling real estate years ago, we were told that buying or selling a house is one of the 3 or 4 most stressful life events that people experience, right after death of a spouse and divorce. I truly believe it! I bought my first house in 1976, sold it in 1979 to buy a new house with my former husband, sold that one against my will in 2002, and have been living in what I consider to be interim housing ever since.
Part of my problem, I think, is that I'm still not convinced, 5 years later, that I'm in GA for good. It feels temporary, interim, impermanent. I keep thinking that something will happen, we'll move somewhere else -- either back to Virginia or to North Carolina near my daughters. Maybe something crazy like Albuquerque! I've been fighting the idea that we're staying here. But, obviously, we are. Next Wednesday I will celebrate my 7th anniversary with my company -- seems like I've made a commitment. (I sure hope they have!)
Anyway, we're moving toward a permanent solution and that's been stressful.
Then, there's work. I have a new year-long assignment, in addition to my other projects, that will take a week or so every quarter, but those days will be incredibly high-profile in the company, and it will either be wonderful or crappy. No middle ground.
And there's a lot going on at work anyway, without a new assignment. My job changes on an hourly basis, depending on what kinds of trouble the employees get into. So there's a constant deluge of minor thefts, threats, employees losing their equipment, employees getting into trouble oversea, etc. So we're constantly investigating something. Plus, last week I had to make presentations to each of our executive vice presidents and our acting CEO individually, to make sure I'm on the right track with them. I have one more to complete, tomorrow morning.
Add to that, this week our department held a big kickoff meeting with all the folks in other cities coming here. More presentations, more Power Points, more peppy, motivational behavior. In the middle of all that, we had a major problem in one of our buildings that put me at odds with one of said executives. Not a great week.
I'm hoping March will be better. What do you want to bet?
Part of my problem, I think, is that I'm still not convinced, 5 years later, that I'm in GA for good. It feels temporary, interim, impermanent. I keep thinking that something will happen, we'll move somewhere else -- either back to Virginia or to North Carolina near my daughters. Maybe something crazy like Albuquerque! I've been fighting the idea that we're staying here. But, obviously, we are. Next Wednesday I will celebrate my 7th anniversary with my company -- seems like I've made a commitment. (I sure hope they have!)
Anyway, we're moving toward a permanent solution and that's been stressful.
Then, there's work. I have a new year-long assignment, in addition to my other projects, that will take a week or so every quarter, but those days will be incredibly high-profile in the company, and it will either be wonderful or crappy. No middle ground.
And there's a lot going on at work anyway, without a new assignment. My job changes on an hourly basis, depending on what kinds of trouble the employees get into. So there's a constant deluge of minor thefts, threats, employees losing their equipment, employees getting into trouble oversea, etc. So we're constantly investigating something. Plus, last week I had to make presentations to each of our executive vice presidents and our acting CEO individually, to make sure I'm on the right track with them. I have one more to complete, tomorrow morning.
Add to that, this week our department held a big kickoff meeting with all the folks in other cities coming here. More presentations, more Power Points, more peppy, motivational behavior. In the middle of all that, we had a major problem in one of our buildings that put me at odds with one of said executives. Not a great week.
I'm hoping March will be better. What do you want to bet?
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